Part 135: Chapter the Third: Reversion to the mean.

Chapter the Third: Reversion to the mean.
September 9, 2022-October 2, 2022

Well, that was no fun. We don't have any National Team games slated until October, but in that time we're bearing down on three EPL, two CL, and the League Cup fixtures. We play Spurs at home, then jet off to Madrid to play the Galacticos, and finish the week with a match in Manchester against Man City. I hope our team is deep enough to see us through this thicket.



I'll take those odds.

vs. Tottenham Hotspur, September 10, 2022
Premier League


Our back four average 19.5 years old. I'm sure that won't be a problem. At least, it will be less of a problem than starting that bunch of kids against Man City or Real Madrid would be.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Laux, Hammatt, Loseille, Morvan, Mair, Argenti, Petts, Mujkic (c), Bastable.
Subs: El Sayed, Feruga, O'Hanlon, Dixon, Bailey, Julio, Aarts.

Our youth shows when Reed plays a Tottenham winger onside, creating a 1v1 in the early minutes. He's spared his blushes when Kovacevic stonewalls the attempt. It continues to show as we build a solid lead in number of shots, but Spurs are getting into very dangerous positions on the regular. Our offense continues to sputter, the Bastard misses a sitter and hears the boo-birds for the first time in his career with us. I don't know what is wrong with him.

We create more chances, and suffer more misses, after the half. But hard working 19 year old Piero Argenti finally puts us ahead after the hour mark has passed, and then doesn't let up on the overwhelmed Spurs left back. His persistence pays off in a second goal, and while he's denied his hat trick he's clearly the man of the hour.

Man of the Match: Piero Argenti




Wrexham 2-0 Tottenham



I'm not sure how Real Madrid could be considered underdogs for this match.

At Real Madrid, September 13, 2022
Champions League, Group B


What a way to start off the group stage. At least every game after this will be easier. My main goal is to not get buried, another six-nil loss would make qualifying for the next round somewhat more difficult and I'd like to avoid the morale hit that would cause. Bastable is getting dropped from this game, he's been in the worst funk of his career and is offering us nothing. El Juez will take his place.

Starting Formation: 4-4-1-1 Counter
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Laux, Todd, Suslov, Bailey, Petts, Collett, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Cardozo.
Subs: El Sayed, Reed, Feruga, Morvan, Julio, Argenti, Aarts.

Real batter us around first half, but can't make anything of their advantage in possession. They're still able to break down our defense, though, and if we don't get more disciplined a goal is going to come for them. Meanwhile our counter attack has done nothing through the first 45 minutes. When the goal finally comes in the 55th minute it's no surprise to anyone, but it's the only one they get. I'll take a 1-0 loss at the Bernabeu.




Real Madrid 1-0 Wrexham



C'mon guys, he wasn't even supposed to be the primary starter.



We're going in the wrong direction! The loss and draw we suffered is only part of the decline in our FIFA rank. They're calculated by results in matches over a period of time, and some good results happened far enough back that they no longer count towards our ranking.



I've gone from having no animosity towards Pattinson to hating him in short order. He only started paying attention to us when we became a threat.




Wait your turn, kid. You're only 20. Yes, I realize that makes you near the average for our back line.

At Manchester City, September 17, 2022
Premier League


It's been a long while since we've had to play counter-attacking football in two straight games. City have beaten us the last two times we've played, I'd like to change up the script on them but I'm not confident of doing so. It doesn't help that Manchester City have already racked up a +15 goal differential in just four matches. They haven't just been winning, they've been scoring over four goals per match!

Starting Formation: 4-4-1-1 Counter
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Laux, Todd, Suslov, Collett, Morvan, Mair, Mujkic (c), Shirra, Aarts.
Subs: El Sayed, Reed, Feruga, Dixon, Bailey, Argenti, Cardozo.

It looks bleak from the start, as the first time the ball leaves play is when City put it in the back of our net in the first minute. A golden ray pierces the gloom in short order when Shirra scores on a counter. Our entire attack beat City's defenders down the field, creating a 4 v 1 situation. We score again from an indirect free kick, but Laux timed his run poorly and was offside. The momentum reverses and City are ahead again as we near the break, but Shirra scores a spectacular goal five minutes later to knot it up again. The Golden Boy has kept it level for us, but our defense has been a shambles against a potent City attack all game.

Then, disaster. For Manchester City. We take the lead when a shanked clearance finds the back of the net for an own goal in the 62nd minute, and we're in line for three points for the first time all day. The second half sees our defense play much better, dropping deeper and not getting caught out by the City players. The Citizens are able to muster one last rally before the whistle blows to give us a late scare, but we take the victory home with us to Wales.

Man of the Match: Scott Shirra




Man City 2-3 Wrexham



I don't think he realizes that I indoctrinate our young players to believe that teenagers can best evil empires by making them watch Red Dawn over and over again. Wolverines!

At Leeds United, September 20, 2022
Capital One Cup, Third Round


Let's try to feed Bastable some gimmes in this match and get his confidence back. We're playing a lot of backups, but virtually all of our players would be stars on this recently promoted Leeds team, even guys like Dixon who are at the end of our bench.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: El Sayed, Cirjak, Hammatt, Feruga, Reed, Dixon, Bailey (c), Argenti, Petts, Cardozo, Bastable.
Subs: Kovacevic, Suslov, O'Hanlon, Morvan, Julio, Collett, Aarts.

Argenti is proving that he has a nose for the goal, plonking a ranged effort off the crossbar in the first five minutes and then burying his next chance a few minutes later. Bastable finally breaks his slump in the 21st minute, the Leeds keeper is inattentive and boots a goal kick directly into the lurking Australian not 5 yards away. Rock recovers quickly and dribbles around the astonished keeper to the completely empty net.

It's a walk from there, with Argenti bagging yet another brace to make it three-nil just before the half. Leeds almost snatch one back when the game restarts but their striker bottles the effort, and Argenti races upfield and fires. The shot is deflected, but a late arriving Petts is there to finish the job. Leeds cower with ten men behind the ball the rest of the game, keeping us from embarrassing them further but not giving any chance at scoring.

Man of the Match: Piero Argenti




Leeds 0-4 Wrexham



We're actually earning a lot fewer cautions and fouling much less this year than in the past. In part that's because I'm ordering us to press the opposition less, in part it's because we're getting older and improving our decisionmaking.



Not too bad, we'll play another lower tier EPL side. They'll be tougher than Leeds, but our road to the quarterfinals is a mild one.

vs. Everton, September 24, 2022
Premier League


We have the makings of a good run of form right now. A win could move us to the top of the table. It would definitely put us in the top four.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Laux, Todd, Suslov, Morvan, Petts, Collett, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Bastable.
Subs: El Sayed, Reed, Feruga, Mair, Bailey, Argenti, Cardozo.

The Bastard's back, rising to put a header inside the near post less than four minutes in. But Everton catch us out to even things up not long after, then take the lead on another counter attack when our defenders are too slow to catch them. There's a lot of good things to say about Matthias Laux, but the dude is slow for this level of play. With Suslov and Cirjak playing as wingbacks and using every opportunity to get forward, that leaves Todd as the only one who has the speed to keep up with most wingers and strikers on the break. I'm going to have to do something about that. At the half Everton leads with two goals on just three shots.

After a firecracker speech during the half, we look much better. Petts knots it up at two with a howitzer from the corner of the area 58m, he was as far as you can get from the goal and still be in the penalty box. I pull an ineffective Collett for Piero Argenti, seeking the winning goal. We keep creating chances, even moreso once a knackered Bastard makes way for El Juez, but time is running out.

In the 90th minute Everton clear another desperate set piece, but only out to Suslov. He finds Laux on the right wing, who passes ahead to Argenti. Argenti finds himself in space nearly 20 meters from the net but lashes it across the net anyways and inside the far post for the go ahead goal. The lead stands up through stoppage time, and we vault back into a Champions League place.

Man of the Match: Richard Petts




Wrexham 3-2 Everton



We're still slowly rounding into form with our match training, meaning that I'm not yet comfortable using that portion of training time to work on match specific tactics. It's starting to become annoying, so I bump up the amount of tactical work we're doing between matches.

vs. Club Brugge, September 28, 2022
Champions League, Group B


Club Brugge, of “Fucking” Bruges, were the top dog this past season in Belgium's Jupiler League. That gives them roughly the talent level of a mid-level EPL club. This will likely be the easiest match we have in our group, and one that we need all three points from. Bram Aarts is getting the start, while Shirra gets a rest and Argenti takes up his natural position as our number 10.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: El Sayed, Reed, Hammatt, Feruga, Suslov, Bailey (c), Mair, Collett, Argenti, Cardozo, Aarts.
Subs: Kovacevic, Cirjak, O'Hanlon, Dixon, Morvan, Julio, Bastable.

Bram Aarts is turning into a dangerous player, thanks to tutelage from the Bastard. He scores at 74 seconds, coming back for a Suslov pass and launching it in from the edge of the area. Twice more he has goals snatched from him by good goalkeeping. Bailey scores from a free kick 25 yards out to start the second half.

When Collett picks up a ding in the second half I move a thus far unimpressive Argenti back to the right wing to replace him. It seems that despite being more versed in the central attacking mid role, Argenti is more of a goalscoring threat from the wing, as he makes it three-nil within moments of moving back out wide, fed by a low cross through the six yard box from a rampant Oleg Suslov. It's the final goal of the match, and I'm always happy after a match where everything went according to plan.

Man of the Match: Oleg Suslov




Wrexham 3-0 Club Brugge



He was rapidly losing his spot in the squad to Argenti already. We have an international break coming up very soon, so he'll only miss one game, but I'm certainly not going to put him back in the starting eleven until Argenti cools off. If Argenti cools off.



The club's balance sheet reads £9.6m in the black, we're going to finish the year with something like £30m in the bank once our television merit pay and Champions League winnings are fully accounted for.




Boo. Both Morvan and Petts have been in good form for the club, and are certainly getting plenty of playing time. There's no reason for this other than sheer cussedness on the part of their National Squad's coaches.



Melendez is the big name to watch here. He's 18 and a potential solid wing player on the international scene. He'll get a cameo appearance, right now the game says that he's surprised and nervous about the call-up to the big squad.



Naturally, I yank Bastable and Mujkic from the Australian squad. Which reminds me, Pau Hogan is going to need to make a return in six weeks to keep our Australians from being forced into the two month waste of time that is the ASEAN Cup.



Petts places second for his rocket from range that tied the match with Everton.



While I pick up the first of hopefully several Manager of the Month awards.

vs. Southampton, September, 2022
Premier League


I think you should get around to firing your manager, Sky Shadowing. He's sunk your team into 20th place through the first six games, when you should really be looking to finish somewhere in the top half given your payroll.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Laux, Todd, Reed, Morvan, Petts, Argenti, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Bastable.
Subs: El Sayed, Feruga, Hammatt, Mair, Bailey, Julio, Cardozo.

Bastable looks to have scored in the 10th minute, but the flag is up and replays show it's the correct call. No matter, he merely opens scoring later in the first half. Mujkic scores his first of the season minutes later and we're up two after half an hour. We put the ball into the back of the net twice more in rapid succession but twice more the flag is up.

Thus it takes an hour for us to make it three-nil, with Argenti scoring on a through ball from Petts. Even our subs get in on the action, with Julio scoring right off the bench in the 73rd minute. A cloud is cast on the day when Tonci Cirjak has to come off injured late in the match, losing him would force 20 year old Steve Reed into the starting job. It's joined by several friends when with five minutes to play Mujkic also has to come off, and even another Bastable goal doesn't lift them. Nor does temporarily moving into first place on the table.

Man of the Match: The Bastard




Wrexham 5-0 Southampton



Dukes. He's going to a specialist, I'm not going to risk losing him for two or three extra months.



Double dukes. Taborda is also out due to an injury incurred while playing for Argentina, and he's due back very soon. Both El Juez and Argenti can play that position, but it's going to be January before Meteor's back.



That was a much, much better month than August. Argenti is proving himself a stud, and we're exactly where we should be after our first two group matches. We've recovered from our early season wobble, and we took all three points from Manchester City in their house for the first time ever. That's good enough to put us in first place on the table, though we're likely to fall into second after Manchester United's October 3rd match against Derby. We're also on course to reach the knockout rounds in the Champions League, as expected.

Our biggest concern at the moment are the mounting casualties we're suffering. Cirjak has been reliably excellent for us, and while Reed has been fantastic in limited appearances he's only 20 years old. Likewise El Juez deserves more playing time, but he's no Meteor. There's also the matter of whether Matty Collett can start performing as expected, of our summer imports he's perhaps even more disappointing than the shelved Shahed Parr because at least I know why Parr isn't producing for us.




BOARD VOTE

(Imperiously) My contract is up in a year. For the stability of the club, and to prove to our players that I plan on being here well into the future, it is time to renegotiate my contract. My prior contract was for three years, with a base salary of £50,000/wk, and a 20% annual raise. There were escalators to £65,000/wk and £80,000/wk if we reached the Europa or Champions Leagues. As I triggered the Champions League escalator in the first year of my contract, my current salary stands at £115,000/wk. This makes me the highest paid manager in the world, as far as I'm aware. The manager of Real Madrid earns £97,000/wk and Ryan McLeod of Manchester United earns £94,000/wk.

I am not seeking an annual raise in my new contract. However, I would like to see my base salary increased to £120,000/wk (£6,240,000 per year) with the following incentive clauses added:
Winning the FA Cup: +£5,000/wk to base pay. (£260,000 raise)
Winning the Premier League: +£10,000/wk to base pay. (£520,000 raise)
Winning the Champions League: £+20,000/wk to base pay. (£1,040,000 raise)
Failing to qualify for the Champions League: -£50,000/wk to base pay. (£2,600,000 pay cut)

I leave it to the board to determine how long this contract shall run. I am very happy here at Wrexham and deeply appreciate the latitude that the fans have given me to build the club. And as stated in my initial interview, I have grand plans for this club, and merely winning the FA Cup and reaching the Champions League quarterfinals is not nearly enough.

QUESTION ONE: Base Salary

(Patiently) So, how about that base salary level?

A) (Skeptically) We don't see why you should earn 20% more than the highest paid managers in the world when you haven't won more than the FA Cup. That you're the highest paid manager in the game now is due to past board members underestimating how quickly you'd reach the Champions League. We are happy to see your success, and to retain your title as highest paid manager, but we believe that £100,000/wk is more suitable. (Base Salary set to £100,000/wk) (note: this contract is what the game offered me)
B) (Fanboyishly) You're, like, x10 times better than any other manager in the history of ever and ever and ever. You're a bargain at twice that price! (Base Salary set to £120,000/wk)

QUESTION TWO: Incentive Clauses

(Mildly) And the package of incentive clauses?

A) (Presciently) Wait, so if we give you these pay escalators and you go and do the triple twice in a row your salary would be £195,000/wk?! And what if we sign you to a very long contract and you really are the second coming of Sir Alex? After five years we might be paying you more than the highest paid players! I'm sorry, I cannot in good conscience agree to these terms, even with the possibility of significantly reducing your salary if we finish outside of the top four. (No incentive clauses)

B) (Ponderingly) I do like the idea of rewarding you for success, but this could get out of hand. These are the incentives that we're willing to offer:
Winning the FA Cup: £2,000/wk increase in base salary. (£104,000 raise)
Winning the Premier League: £5,000/wk increase in base salary. (£260,000 raise)
Winning the Champions League: £7,000/wk increase in base salary. (£364,000 raise)
Failing to qualify for the Champions League: £35,000/wk decrease in base salary (£1,820,000 pay cut)

C) (Passively) Rubber stamp for the God King present and accounted for, sir! (Incentive clauses accepted as proposed)

QUESTION THREE: Contract Length

(Open-endedly) The current season will end in 2023. After which season should the contract be set to expire? (e.g. 2025 would be a three year contract comprising of this year, next year, and the 2024-2025 season)

Voting will be open until noon EST on July 9.